Songkran: A Thesis...and stuff with research

Once one inherits a farm or decides to be a farmer there are a lot of things one must prepare in order to obtain yield from one’s crops or livestock.  One must buy food, spend hours giving the plants water and build structures to house livestock and plant seedlings.  An outsider would look at an organic farm and smile.  Most likely the afternoon air is still and clean, one feels alone with the land, the beautiful and serene landscape.  One can pick delicious as well as gorgeous fruits and harvest succulent vegetables from the trees and the ground.  But what one does not realize until one has attempted farming is that one must deal, hourly, with feces.  One must be willing to step in feces, be willing to clean manure from the structures one has spent hours building and from the shoes one has spent upwards of 100 dollars buying.  Handling droppings of multiple origins is also a must while planting. 

I have written this just because I, myself, did not know just how much farmers have to deal with poop until now.  I have tended to several pigs over the last week, I give them water, I give them food, I shower them and they shake their heads and the stench from the drops of water that go flying from their pink bodies fills my clothes, similar to the way a dog shakes after have been given a bath.  I have also attempted to herd cattle, three of them.  In addition to hitting my hand with a mallet whilst trying to pound a stake into the ground, I also had to chase one of them for more than a mile through dried up rice fields, trees and many Thai laughs.  I have also fed the chickens and attempted to herd them to boot, after I accidentally let them get into the barn and consume the majority of their food supply; feathers did fly, as did curse words.  I also “learned” how to “catch” fish with a net.  While my host brother pulled nets full of huge fish out of the pond, my host mother applauded me when I pulled out anything that was not mud and sticks. 

BUT,

 At the end of the week, after tending to the farm, it was time to celebrate the Thai New Year:  Songkran.  It was an absolute blast and man did I need it after all that #2.  Everyone in the village got out their ceramic pots, filled them with water, and sacrificed their version of toilet paper in the form of water and a small bowl to celebrate by throwing the water in the faces of motorcycle riders as well as walkers alike (similar to previous posts, yes throwing water in the faces of motorcycle riders is the safest option I could think of too).  Through the five days of my baby powdered face, my prickly-heated neck and my soaked from head-to-toe body I could not help but ponder as to why we do not celebrate such a wonderful holiday in the states.  Then it hit me in the face again like Thai toilet paper during Songkran.  I am going to start the tradition as soon as I return home, bet your bottom dollar…..or your top one…I am not sure really what the difference is…I would need my mom’s “phrase origins” book that is located on the upper end of the toilet in the guest bathroom back home…If you have been to my parents house you know what I am talking about, that bright yellow book gleams at you like a unblemished jewel and you cannot help but read.  It is like the ring in Lord of the Rings…and stuff 

Basically what I am trying to say here is that there is a little bit of a parallel with my life right now as I know it.  I think I am going to have some hard work ahead.  Things are not going to come easy.  There are some days where I am going to have to step in some cow, chicken, pig or all of the above, dung. There are some days when I will have to plant seeds with doodoo in order to harvest a better quality veggie.

 It is harder than I thought it would be to be in another place, get to know people that speak another language and have an entirely different culture.  The days are filled with wondering if I really understand or if I am assuming the totally opposite meaning.  For example the other day I thought my host mom said that I could go to the market when she answered my question with “dai leei” but in fact, she said “dtie leei” which meant that she did not want me to go because she thought I would die (from the heat). I digress…They are also filled with repeating the last couple words of the other person’s sentence and then putting on a really cheesy smile as if to say “I obviously do not understand but I am going to smile and hope you at the very least think I am a good-hearted person that does not understand”. 

And for the love of all that is holy if anyone knows a song that is easy to Karaoke that Thai people have in English on these dang machines please let me know…I would rather crap the bed than sing “If Tomorrow Never Comes” by Garth Brooks one more time.

BUT

At the end of the week all of this muck does not mean a thing because there is always Thai toilet paper ready to clean it all up!  There is also baby powder to make you smell all better and usually there is a smile or two that make you helpless but to smile back.  And in a few months the rain and the sunshine comes to the aide and those vegetables you planted start to grow and there are no worries…”Mai Pen Rai”

I am proud to say that throughout this post, counting #2 as word, I did use eight different words for feces…

BUT

I am not sure if “doodoo” counts because Word gave it one of those annoying red squiggly lines.  If this was the public school system in the United States they would do away with that red color because of the damage it could do to one’s self-esteem.  I have to say I agree, my feelings are hurt.  Until next time!

Good Love,

Luke