Maybe A Mormon?

It is a typical day.  I am riding my bike through the bumpy, windy road on my way to work.  The road conditions are not optimal as it looks as though during the night someone decided to throw three hundred grenades on the road and then soak it with water in order to hinder my getting to work on time.  I spent some time last night preparing for my day, washed and ironed my clothes, even shined my shoes (what?).  Just as I am dodging the last pothole in a series of potholes an impatient driver splashes me and my laptop bag with water.  This isn't the kind of water that dries and is unnoticeable, this is the kind that stays there forever.  I laughed, and kept pedaling.  I then thought to myself as I looked down at my outfit which consisted of a button down shirt, tie, black dress pants (rolled up so the black bike chain grease couldn't stain them) , argyle socks (showing), with black dress shoes, I look like a Mormon missionary.  It wasn't a bad thought, just a thought, and I laughed.  Then a Thai lady yelled at me (it's just the way she talks).

I often find myself speaking a different kind of English these days, which could be a credit to my integration into culture, or it could just be me losing my mind.  For example, when someone asks me if I like living in Thailand it usually reads something like this "Uhh You-a like uh live in-a Thailand?"  and instead of answering in my usual voice with correct grammar my answer instinctively goes something like this "Yes I-uh like verry mush".  It honestly reminds me of an old children's story that my dad used to read me when I was a little kid about the boy would couldn't say please; the boy had lost his "please".  Well I have lost my English.  If I was at all socially awkward before, I have the full blown stuff now.

I don't really have a whole lot to write about today, I am averaging about a post a month on this thing which I believe is enough but here are some things that I am excited about/ are new with me (making lists is much easier).

1.  I now steam my own sticky rice at home (Thai people are impressed even if you're not!)
2.  My parent's are coming to visit in a couple months (maybe we can have a cooperative post as I know their experiences will be very interesting)
3.  It is my brother Joe's birthday in a few days (holla back)
4.  Hogs start football in a week or so (Can't wait to listen to Chuck Barrett and get his phenomenal description of those delicious Petit Jean meats)
5.  Last but not least, my niece Lynlee started Kindergarten and I heard she is a great student (Love you all)
6.  Next time I will be more awesome

Luke

Like Sand Through An Hour Glass......So Are The DAYS OF OUR LIVES...dun dun

It has been longer than I expected since I have been able to update Thailikeshirt copyright, stamp, double stamp, triple stamp no taksies-backsies.  Over the past month I have been a fairly busy man.  I mentioned some of the things I would be up to in my last blog post and of course I promised to give updates and pictures from all events.  The truth is the beach was too much fun and way too beautiful to have time to take pictures.  I always get frustrated with myself when I sit around taking pictures and I forget to actually take it all, so this time I neglected take photographs.  But, I did take a few pictures of our Peace Corps Reconnect Conference and the First Annual (lets hope there is a second, third and fourth annual) Ban Non Yang English/Life Skills Camp which you will be able to view at the bottom of this wonderfully put together blog page!

            So when I left you last I was headed to Ko Samet, Thailand which is a beach near the Province Rayong, Thailand which is approximately 200 km from Bangkok (side note, I always hated when people who wrote in these blogs in kilometers because I felt like they were trying to be cool and prove that they now thought in kilometers this, in fact, is not true it is just what people tell me and then I am too lazy to try to convert it to miles even though throughout this rant I probably would have had time to plug it into my cell phone and give you the conversion but that is besides the point) and head there I did.  I stopped off at the Peace Corps Headquarters in Bangkok and dropped off my bag for Reconnect and headed to the beach with some of my good Peace Corps buddies Tanner, Kelly and Bobby, good group of guys.  We had a blast with days filled with throwing the Frisbee around and eating delicious Thai food right on the beach, Thai style, and nights watching fire dancers and eating more food.  Needless to say for those three days we did not feel much like Peace Corps Volunteers but it was a much needed vacation for all of us. 

            After heading to Ko Samet, we all went to PST Reconnect in a city near Bangkok where we invited our Thai counterparts from our sites.  Some of them had never traveled alone or ever stayed in a hotel so it was a very interesting three days.  By the time the counterpart portion of the conference was over most of our counterparts, especially mine, missed cao neow (sticky rice, most people in Issan eat cao neow rather than jasmine rice) and were ready to go home to their families and their own beds. I must admit I was beginning to feel the same way.  I missed my host family, my house, the teachers and students at my schools, the food and the peacefulness of a long bike ride or run. Fortunately or unfortunately I was stuck at the hotel in Suppanburi for another five days.  The rest of the conference was beneficial for us all and we all gained some great perspective from the stories that everyone had.  We had fresh ideas and we were all very anxious to get back to our sites.  One volunteer said during the final session said that it had been great seeing everyone and speaking our native language and being able to hang out in the hotel but the fact was we were excited and anxious to get back to the place where most of us now call “home”; I believe he hit the nail right on the head. 

            Of course before I had the chance to get back “home” I had to take a detour to my other, “home”, as Suppanburi was only one and a half hours from Ayuthaya, the place I did all of my Pre-Service Training and of course the home of my first Thai family.  So they drove to pick me up and I stayed with them one night before getting on the bus to go back and start planning my English/Life Skills Camp that was quickly approaching.  So one night of laughter and great food and I was on the bus back to Yasothorn. 

I was kind of scared that I was going to run out of time to plan when four other volunteers showed up a day early in order to help finish up the planning and make materials to conquer the Camp the next day, and the day after that.  It was a great time and the volunteers that came and stayed at my “baan” for a few days were extremely awesome and dedicated to making the camp be a success.  Without their great teamwork and their talent I am sure it wouldn’t have been as great, but they made it happen.  Two days of wonderful games and activities and lessons on topics like Hygiene, Teamwork, Self-Esteem and Food and Exercise.  The students learned a ton and they had a great time doing it….VICTORY!

After English Camp we headed as a group to Khon Kaen which is about three hours from Yasothorn during the long holiday “Wan Cao Pansa” in order to celebrate the success of our Camp.  We met some other volunteers there and relaxed again for three more days.  By the time that trip was over I was ready to head back and get back to my routine.  I was missing my site dearly and I hadn’t seen my host mom or family in over a month. 

When I returned home I went to my smaller school on Tuesday and one of the teachers informed me that he had killed a snake called “ngoo sing” (snake sing) and that he wanted me to come over to help him and the principal of the school eat it.  This was not my first rodeo with snake sing and man was it a good way to get back in the groove of village life.  We ate and ate and ate.  Unfortunately I stayed too late at the teacher’s house and was not able to see my host family again which I was ready to do.  So the next day at dinnertime I rode my bike to see them.  Nothing had changed.  “Bai nai maaa?” (where have you been?) my host mom asked me and then the next question “gin cao duay gaan mai?” (will you eat with us?)…..Home sweet home…..

Here I am now in the village, I was able to teach the volunteer health workers in my community some English the other day and it is rice planting season so I helped plant some rice with the students on the school farm.  

So here are the pictures for a wrap up:  Beach, Reconnect, Ayuthaya, English Camp, Khon Kaen, Health Workers, Rice Planting!  Enjoy!

Much Love,

Luke

A Routinous Root

I wake up around 6:30 a.m. to the sound of chickens screeching, a lizard singing, some birds fighting and scratching their claws against my tin roof, some kids yelling, someone on a microphone talking about something (it is still a mystery to me why in the world the community “okayed” this at 6:30 a.m.) and the fan in my room spinning, spreading joy in the form of air to my burning body.  I still find it hard to get out of bed and I am almost a grown man (not sure if I will ever grow up).  My dad used to try to wake me up for school when I was little but the first time I yelled at him, in my sleep mind you, he decided enough was enough and proceeded to put a 1970s version of a house alarm right next to my bed and crank it as loud as it could go….lets just say that was the last time I decided to sleep in for a good 3 or 4 months, then sleep became too valuable again.

I found some flour, some baking powder and if I put that together with the Thai regulars; egg, salt, starch and sugar, I got myself some delicious pancakes.  To top it off, the other day I found some powered sugar, still no butter, but the taste of these pancakes is to die for.  Generally for breakfast, lunch and dinner, the menu would consist of rice with some kind of curry, maybe some crickets (if I am lucky…seriously those critters are the closest thing around to potato chips) and a fried egg.  After breakfast I brush my teeth with a bottle of water, that is if I remembered to boil some the night before, otherwise I go dry which is a real bummer because then I have to swallow toothpaste for the next 15 minutes until I can get to the convenient store on my bike. I ride my bike close to 3 miles to the school where the kids are all lined up, the teachers are telling them what I assume are some important announcements but instead of listening they take the time to warn each other that the “farang” is coming and then to say “hello”; of course the younger ones say it more like “HELLLL-LO”.  I am trying to find a way to let them know that hello is not something we generally use more than once in a day, most of the time when we first see someone.  Try telling that to 300 students that just love being able to use such a wonderful greeting word.

The morning is filled with trying to understand people talking to me and them trying to understand me talking to them.  After someone says a sentence the reaction on both parties is usually something like “uh-huh” or “ooohhh” or “uh” or “huh?” all of which are a version and most likely stem from the origin word: “I don’t know what the heck you are talking about but I will pretend so that I look like I do”, which is not a word but a phrase…phrases are sentences that are a little shorter….I like using phrases with things and stuff…”things and stuff” is a phrase I use often…..

After the morning has passed and lesson planning has been finished, and materials are created and ready to use, it is time for lunch.  I never know what to expect at lunch time, I say this not only because of the food but also because I never know what situations will arise and how I will respond.  I usually say something in Thai that is a bad word because my tones are bad and they start laughing hysterically.  The worst thing about this is they never tell me what the joke is so I am left totally in the dark wondering what on this green, blue, brown, light brown, light green, light blue, a kind of light shade of red, earth (this according to MOST printed world maps) they are talking about.  After lunch is finished and my belly is full with I don’t know what…really I never know what...I mean sometimes I do, so I cannot technically say “never” but this is another phrase I think we use often so it is kind of sarcastic and it over exaggerates the truth but generally people know that when I say never I mean sometimes which is a weird concept to teach in an English class filled with Thai students or just in an everyday situation with a Thai teacher wanting to know why I said “never” when I meant “sometimes”…this might be the same as when Thai people say “ow leei” which means “I want it now” but really they do not want it at all…cultural exchange…….beautifully frustrating.

…….back to after lunch and my belly is full….It is time to hit up the classroom for a little bit of English co-teaching magic.  The kids are great, they are fun if the teachers are fun.  It takes up a lot of energy and these first few classes are a big adjustment period for all parties involved.  I know the students are not used to me and they are definitely not used to someone acting inappropriate in class “mai riap roy”, but the fact of the matter is, if I want to make the classroom fun it has to be relaxed and enjoyable and I think that is coming along just fine.  I am beginning to finally think like an English teacher and many things pop up in my head on the fly.  I think it frustrates my Thai teachers because sometimes I deviate from the plan because I am so excited about the next activity.  I know, I know, it is a sad state of affairs when you start to get excited about learning activities but I suppose I am a teacher and I think like I teacher…but I refuse to wear cardigans…EVER…only soon to be doctors in med school can wear those…okay, okay just Belcher…and maybe a married Becton (inside jokes and things).

            After teaching is over it is time to go home but recently I discovered that one of my schools has the best sand volleyball duo in the nation.  I asked to play and play I did.  I played until the self-proclaimed “big coach” (who is in a wheelchair now but used to be on the national Thai volleyball team) asked me to be the assistant coach.  He handed me a Thai national team shirt, a whistle and told me that I would be attending all of the matches in order to help coach.  What a great gig!  I could not believe it but I struck gold.  I now lounge in a beautiful country teaching my native language to Thai people young and old, have great times learning about and trying to find things to improve in my community, go to the beach on occasion and coach sand volleyball (frat!).  Now if I could just get some cheese dip I would be golden.

            Now for the big wrap-up, I am doing great here in Yas-O…I am getting to know people in and outside the community as my language skills are picking up a little bit.  I never understood that someone could listen to a language for comprehension and still not be able to speak it fluently but after some time in Thailand I realize that this is actually possible.  I can understand more than I can speak which is, I hope, something that will help me eventually speak better.  I still get the opportunity to go fishing, I still hang out with the host family and feed the pigs sometimes and I hope to start planting my garden soon.  The rain is coming and this seems to be the perfect time to plant, I mean the Thai folks are doin’ it so it has to be good right? 

            Life is still good, I miss family and friends and most definitely some food but all in all life is good.  I will be headed to another province for Pre-Service Training Reconnect which will be a good break with time to speak with all of the other volunteers.  The three day weekend before Reconnect I will be getting in some beach time! After the beach and Reconnect I will be hosting a English/Life Skills camp for the kids ages 10-13 in my community about Drug Awareness, Nutrition, Self-Esteem, HIV Awareness and Environment.  I hope to update with some pictures of all events.  In the meantime, it is dinnertime and that means I will be eating rice.  While I do that, you can look at some of these randomly amusing (at least to me) pictures.

Much Love,

Luke

             

       

Titles Have To Do With The Content

It's May in Yasothorn, but it is almost June and you know what that means?  That means that June is going to be a lot like May.  It is most likely going to be hot with a chance of rain at night time which means there is a chance of 2,000 flying ants to enter my room at night.  It also means that I have experienced one more month in this beautiful country going on several vacations, some of them unintended, and I have also spent more time getting to know how to live and work successfully in a place where all things different.  So this is where my post starts, right here sitting in my office where the teachers are all wondering why I haven't said an English word for three hours but I am supposed to be an English co-teacher...If anyone knows how to say "I just want to observe for the first two weeks" that is more effective than this thai transliteration:  "Pom yak ja do chuei chuei atit nung gap atit song, gaw pom chuay soon pasa Engrit", please let me know.  Ahhh, now that you are all impressed by my Thai skills let me show you how terrible my English has become by writing several paragraphs of grammatically incorrect blog content.

So my last blog I of course updated you on how awesome I am:), but I also left you after saying that I was headed to Ayuthaya, which is my original home here in Thailand.  The vacation was fantastic and much needed.  I will give you a brief rundown on the things I received/the things I was taken to do because it is ridiculous how much love I feel when I go back to stay with my host mom:
1.  They mowed my name in their yard
2.  They served me all the food and drink I could ever want
3.  Bought me pizza
4.  Bought me FRIED CHICKEN (4 straight days of delicious fried chicken)
5.  Took me to the Grand Palace in Bangkok (and bought me lunch and dinner again)
6.  Took me a party at the temple (and almost made me be the "angel" in a buddhist play)
7.  Took me to buy peanut butter
8.  My host mom rented a pesonal van to send me 8 hours back to Yasothorn and she rode 8 hours back to Ayuthaya the same night after buying me 16 cartons of milk, some ramen noodles and 30 eggs to gain some weight.
9.  1 week later I received a package with 5 new short sleeve shirts, 3 sets of bed sheets and 4 pairs of boxer shorts
10.  A call later to see if I wanted to go to China on vacation in a few months

All in all, my host mother is a ridiculously nice person.  If you told me I was going to have a person stay in my house from another country for 3 months, you didn't tell me anything about them and you told me that they would not speak my language, I would have told you that you were crazy to think we'd be as close as we are.  To say the very least the visit was great and overwhelming!

I got back to my house where things were just the way I left them, I love my little house here in Issan, my hammock especially.....And as I sat there in my hammock I got a call Friday night from my supervisor at the local education ministry.  She explained that she had a party for me to attend close to her house.  I obliged, not knowing what this "party" was going to consist of.  In the end I attended a dance party on a stage, a traditional Thai dance show, a Thai concert, and finally, Boon Bang Fie (which translates to Rocket Festival) where there were large rockets being shot off every twenty minutes or so, people being thrown in a pond and others with mud being slung all over their bodies (me included, everyone wants to get the farang).  Little did I know that after this Rocket Festival there was going to be another Rocket Festival in my village followed by another one in the village next to mine...all in all 3 Rocket Festivals and they are not yet finished.

After the trip to Sai Mun I realized that after 2 straight months of being with only Thai speakers that it might be good to see if I could still speak English.  I know when I talk to friends and family on skype it is hard for me to communicate, not to communicate but just to be myself.  I wasn't sure if this was because my English language speaking skills had gone out the window or if I was always around Thai people so I was scared to talk into a computer screen, worried about what they might think or do.  It seems like there are one of two reactions to skype.  They either run away from my screen or they won't stop staring into it.

Back on track;  So I thought spending some quality time with Peace Corps volunteers would not only give me a break from the daily grind but also give me a chance to practice my English with some other native speakers.  I had the chance to do this in a place called Mukdahan, which is on the border of Thailand and Laos.  It is the most happening place close to all of us in Issan so we made it a group gathering.   At first it was my mission to get a big juicy burger, maybe some fried chicken and a giant order of french fries and ice cream, but after all of that stuff and a fairly painful stomachache I realized all I wanted was some Dtom Yum (Thai Soup), some Som Tam (Papaya Salad with Fermented Fish Sauce) and some delicious Kao Neow (sticky rice);.... maybe I am not fully integrated, but I am getting there!  The Mook was a blast and I got the chance to watch the Barcelona vs. Man U game at 2 o-clock in the morning with the band that was playing at a local pub...little did I know I was going to go to Mukdahan to hang out with more Thai people!

All is well on the home front, I am so fortunate to be in such a beautiful place.  School is starting which I though would stress me out considering I haven't really had to work at all. I don't know if it is something they put in the water or if I am just a changed man, but I am virtually stress free...what a wonderful feeling.  Life is good.

I will attempt to put up some pictures on the blog but in case that does not work please see facebook for some pretty sick vids and some other good pics of all of my happenings on.

Also congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Mattiza....Got some pretty frat video updates at the reception...I would like to give a shout out to my boy Grant for absolutely dominating the dance floor and to TJ for sporting that sick cowboy hat all night!  Proud of you guys and I can't wait to see you functioning as a married couple when I get back home....In the meantime I will be busy beating Mattiza in fantasy baseball!  Halla!

Exceptional

Hello blog...
I love you and the way you let me write in your window of composition.  I like the fact that you have three options on the bottom of the composition screen that allow me the choice to "publish post", "save now" and "preview".  But does anyone really "preview" because the writer has already "viewed".  Technically you cannot preview because that would mean you were predicting the future.  Only T9 on your 1999 Nokia cellular telephonic device can predict the future.

I have settled into my new house and I knew that if history were to repeat itself (and in fact, it does...sometimes...but not exactly because nothing can be EXACTLY replicated...and other philosophical thoughts...but in this case history proved to kind of repeat itself, I mean the historical events and prior knowledge gave me a hint as to what was to come) I was going to be in for a few more adjustments in my journey.  The house that I was given the option to live in is close to one of the schools that I work at but it had not been lived in in over two years.  Of course it smelled, looked and had everything living in it that you can imagine a house that had not been lived in for two years would have.  The first few nights were a ferocious battle of man vs. insect, reptile and mammal.  The man brought out some of his favorite fighting weapons in the form of rat bait, shoes, brooms, aerosol cans containing any kind of liquid that might be deadly to insects, bathroom cleaners that might kill things and ect.  The fact is the king of the other animals sent too many troops and they have unlimited supplies.  It is a battle that cannot be won by either side.  Unless of course the king of the animals sends some sort of poisonous beetle or another dangerous weapon that gets to man while he is sleeping, doubtful.  Man has set up a fortress in the form of a net, nothing can touch him!

So all literary genius aside, (because I am obviously such a talent) I am living in a house that has a lot of bugs and stuff.  I have decided I cannot win and that living with them in a non-social but interactive manner is best for me and my living partners.  So when Thai people ask me if I am living on my own I am no longer going to answer yes.  I am going to tell them that I live with ants, beetles, lizards, mice and cats to name a few.  Then they are going to respond, "why are you living with all of that food in your house".  Then I will respond "where I am from it is not considered food".  Then they will respond "oh...".  Then they will ask me how I can live on my own without going crazy from all of the ghosts that must be living in the confines of my household.  Above anything else, Thai people are the most afraid of ghosts.  You could throw some kind of poisonous snake at their face and they would not flinch, but ghosts, yes ghosts exist everywhere and they are obviously very harmful as they have caused several deaths in the last few days (this is what we call in the English language "sarcasm").

Anyways....School has started up at one of my two schools.  It feels great to be back in the classroom and around kids and students again.  There are a lot of things that are different in Thai schools than that of America.  There is obviously a very different structure, there are different activities as well as social norms and language.  The language barrier is one that is hard to hurdle.  I cannot get a feel for how kids are, their personality ect. and they cannot read me either.  This is a challenge that is immediately recognizable but I have faith and hope that with time we will reach mutual knowledge of each other.  I am just observing for now, getting a feel for how the classroom operates, what is expected of Thai students and what is expected of Thai teachers.  It is tough because obvious general school rules in America may or may not exist in Thailand.  For example one of the teachers bought a new car. He wanted to treat the local government officials as well as the principal and his co-teachers to lunch in order to create merit and a blessing for his new car.  So, in true Thai fashion, he ordered in the raw meat (side note, the raw meat seems to be a regularly occurring thing for special events, you know the ones they always invite me to; lucky me), the whiskey, the rice whiskey and the beer and some vegetables and other stuff.  Wouldn't you know they had lunch right there in the school cafeteria...the preschoolers, the kindergardners, the first graders and of course the adults pouring each other shots of bourbon.  I found myself in a rather odd social and cultural situation.  Drinking in front of children and especially at school is not something I condone nor would I usually participate in but when offered adult beverages especially from local officials it is culturally insensitive not to accept.  And now you may or may not have interest in what my decision was but I am not going to tell you either way....it was just an odd situation to deal with and I thought you might be interested.

Another thing I found different about Thai culture that is different from what I am used to is that everyone shares what would be very confidential information in the U.S.  I have a the very least three instances.

1.  Teachers at the school share and laugh at each other about the amount of debt they have accrued.
2.  Teachers know everyone's salary that works at the school.
3.  Students' names, grades and test scores are posted publicly for the whole community to see.

The list potentially goes on but these are a few.  I also have realized that exceptional students are often treated very differently from the other students.  It has been pointed out to me that at least three students are mentally disabled which is something that usually isn't directly pointed out in the states.  There is also one little boy that I myself, without being able to speak the language, could diagnose as autistic.  I am not sure if people here have studied or know about how to assist the students that have these differences.

All in all life is good!  I have now eaten 10-15 fruits I have never seen nor tasted, I meet at least three new people everyday and I learn a new aspect of beautiful Thai culture everyday.  My host family here has invited me to be a part of there family and help on the farm on a daily basis.  The community has started to accept me more an more which is very exciting and helps me to feel like a normal person, not just the only American.  I also have the opportunity to see my host family in Ayuthaya in a couple of days which should be exciting.  They have planned a party in advance for my return...Thai people; too generous!

Pom Yak Ja Hai Kwam Suk Mak Mak,

Luke

Mi-LO and Dr. Dre

It was a like a revolution happened over night.  My host mother asked me the other day over my quite delicious and refreshing cup of “Milo” or, if you are Thai, “My-Low”(A rather nice chocolaty drink with, what I gathered from the picture and my host father’s explanation, “veet-a-meens”) that if I had time she wanted to learn English.  I kind of giggled which I think offended her.  The giggle was not meant to have been at her expense it just made me happy to think that the relationship we have means something to her, so much so that she would like to learn to speak my native tongue!  After the giggle, I told her that if I was at the house I would gladly attempt teaching her English.  Little did I know she spent what I can only imagine to be hours on writing over six pages of Thai words that she wanted translated to English so she could study during her free time.  I sat down and we began.  The problem is the word has to be translated three times, I have to be able to understand the Thai, then I have to write the correct English word down, then she has to hear it correctly enough to transliterate the word to Thai.  To make a long story short, we finished what we could.  After a long day on the farm she came home and sat down to watch the family favorite soap opera.  A baby appeared on the screen and proudly my host mother states, “naa-rak” (the Thai word for cute) followed by what she presumed to be the English word for cute, “eat”….

My English teaching ability is obviously awesome….Thank you very much as I bow, “I will be here all night and all month and all year and the year after that”.

I also got my first “village” hair-cut.  What is interesting about a “village” haircut is nothing.  But when a foreigner gets a “village” haircut it can be interesting…I guess…at least it was to the ten people outside the shop watching and talking about it for a good thirty minutes.  The barber was careful to be precise when cutting every piece of hair on my head.  The fact that I chose his house to get my haircut he thought was a nice gesture and of course I needed the cut fairly bad.  The bad news is, if you know about me and my barber shop/salon experience I do not have any.  For some reason when I go to the salon or barber in the States I freeze up, like they are speaking a foreign language.  I say what I think is correct in salon language, “taper the sides, thin the top, they usually use the razor guard #8”, ect. Ect.  Then I stop talking.  It is uncomfortable I can feel it, I know they feel it too.  The person cutting my hair must think I am a mute as I answer all the usual salon questions with one word and a smile.  I cringe with each snip of hair because I know what the end result will be no matter what I say.  No matter what, I come out looking like a 12 year-old boy that has his fresh new hair cut and his ball cap with his piece of bubble gum in his mouth that he got for sitting so still in that big scary chair. 

Hopefully you know where I am going with this.  If not, just wait longer (dumb and dumber reference anyone….yes, no, is this thing on?).  So I am scared of the barber, scared of requesting, scared of talking, scared of the end result.  A “village” haircut was so easy…  I walked to the house, I asked in broken Thai, “is that guy who cuts hair here?” and he said, “I am that guy” then I sat down and he cut my hair.  He did not ask what I wanted, he did not ask where I was from, he did not ask what I studied in college or what I did for work.  He just wanted to cut and let me tell you, cut he did.  He cut until I was Thai….and now, Thai I am, shaved sides and goofy top.  But all is good.

I also had a fishing experience that brought some memories back of when I was little and me and my best buddy Donnie Crawford would got to the pond with our bb guns, our fishing poles, a bucket-o-worms and our 4-wheeler.  Man did we get up to no good, but it was always a good time.  I was invited to go fishing with a man from the convenient store just up the road; the convenient store is generally a house and the residents sell things.  I had to of course explain that I could not ride a motorcycle (peace corps policy), so he loaded up the truck with all of the essentials…energy drinks and fishing equipment…and we were off.  Once again I felt like I was incapable of doing even the things I was capable of doing back in the states.  The man I was with pulled at least 10 fish out of the river compared to my 0.  I felt like I was back at home, 9 years old, and my buddy Donnie Ray tied on a lure that had broken hooks so he would easily beat me in our competition.  I began to think what could possibly be the difference (because surely it was not the operator, I mean I am awesome J).  I looked at the rod, the reel, the lure, the hooks, all the same.  I began to lose hope.  I figured if I did not catch a fish before the sun went down I would surely not be invited back, something I desperately wanted, fishing is great stress relief for me.  At last I pulled out 1 fish.  Just in time.  It felt so good, the fight of a fish and the excitement of finally catching one is something that, for me, cannot be compared to anything.  The sun had gone down and we loaded up the truck, we shared laughs although I do not know what they were about and when we arrived back in the village my new fishing buddy gave me five fish and an ice cold beverage that may or may not have contained alcohol.  The wrap up is, I did not feel like the only American person in the village for one day.  It was refreshing, I felt comfortable and I hope that continues. 

Also and update on the eating because that is always an experience and people generally like to hear about it…

Dinner with some teachers from the school:

Stir Fried Veggies

Fish Soup

Cow Brains

Baby Chicks….Somewhere in the explanation of what I was eating they asked me what we call them in English.  They explained to me that they were not quite chicks but they were not eggs either…”Fetus”, I said, “you are eating a chicken fetus”…and they went right along “ChiCK-Hen Fee Tuuu”….yes chicken fetus…

I also saw that Dr. Dre is making a comeback…It looked scary and gangster and stuff

I listed some things that I would love from back home if one was to make a care package.  I hear some people wanted to do so and for that I am very gracious and thankful.

                                                                                      

Songkran: A Thesis...and stuff with research

Once one inherits a farm or decides to be a farmer there are a lot of things one must prepare in order to obtain yield from one’s crops or livestock.  One must buy food, spend hours giving the plants water and build structures to house livestock and plant seedlings.  An outsider would look at an organic farm and smile.  Most likely the afternoon air is still and clean, one feels alone with the land, the beautiful and serene landscape.  One can pick delicious as well as gorgeous fruits and harvest succulent vegetables from the trees and the ground.  But what one does not realize until one has attempted farming is that one must deal, hourly, with feces.  One must be willing to step in feces, be willing to clean manure from the structures one has spent hours building and from the shoes one has spent upwards of 100 dollars buying.  Handling droppings of multiple origins is also a must while planting. 

I have written this just because I, myself, did not know just how much farmers have to deal with poop until now.  I have tended to several pigs over the last week, I give them water, I give them food, I shower them and they shake their heads and the stench from the drops of water that go flying from their pink bodies fills my clothes, similar to the way a dog shakes after have been given a bath.  I have also attempted to herd cattle, three of them.  In addition to hitting my hand with a mallet whilst trying to pound a stake into the ground, I also had to chase one of them for more than a mile through dried up rice fields, trees and many Thai laughs.  I have also fed the chickens and attempted to herd them to boot, after I accidentally let them get into the barn and consume the majority of their food supply; feathers did fly, as did curse words.  I also “learned” how to “catch” fish with a net.  While my host brother pulled nets full of huge fish out of the pond, my host mother applauded me when I pulled out anything that was not mud and sticks. 

BUT,

 At the end of the week, after tending to the farm, it was time to celebrate the Thai New Year:  Songkran.  It was an absolute blast and man did I need it after all that #2.  Everyone in the village got out their ceramic pots, filled them with water, and sacrificed their version of toilet paper in the form of water and a small bowl to celebrate by throwing the water in the faces of motorcycle riders as well as walkers alike (similar to previous posts, yes throwing water in the faces of motorcycle riders is the safest option I could think of too).  Through the five days of my baby powdered face, my prickly-heated neck and my soaked from head-to-toe body I could not help but ponder as to why we do not celebrate such a wonderful holiday in the states.  Then it hit me in the face again like Thai toilet paper during Songkran.  I am going to start the tradition as soon as I return home, bet your bottom dollar…..or your top one…I am not sure really what the difference is…I would need my mom’s “phrase origins” book that is located on the upper end of the toilet in the guest bathroom back home…If you have been to my parents house you know what I am talking about, that bright yellow book gleams at you like a unblemished jewel and you cannot help but read.  It is like the ring in Lord of the Rings…and stuff 

Basically what I am trying to say here is that there is a little bit of a parallel with my life right now as I know it.  I think I am going to have some hard work ahead.  Things are not going to come easy.  There are some days where I am going to have to step in some cow, chicken, pig or all of the above, dung. There are some days when I will have to plant seeds with doodoo in order to harvest a better quality veggie.

 It is harder than I thought it would be to be in another place, get to know people that speak another language and have an entirely different culture.  The days are filled with wondering if I really understand or if I am assuming the totally opposite meaning.  For example the other day I thought my host mom said that I could go to the market when she answered my question with “dai leei” but in fact, she said “dtie leei” which meant that she did not want me to go because she thought I would die (from the heat). I digress…They are also filled with repeating the last couple words of the other person’s sentence and then putting on a really cheesy smile as if to say “I obviously do not understand but I am going to smile and hope you at the very least think I am a good-hearted person that does not understand”. 

And for the love of all that is holy if anyone knows a song that is easy to Karaoke that Thai people have in English on these dang machines please let me know…I would rather crap the bed than sing “If Tomorrow Never Comes” by Garth Brooks one more time.

BUT

At the end of the week all of this muck does not mean a thing because there is always Thai toilet paper ready to clean it all up!  There is also baby powder to make you smell all better and usually there is a smile or two that make you helpless but to smile back.  And in a few months the rain and the sunshine comes to the aide and those vegetables you planted start to grow and there are no worries…”Mai Pen Rai”

I am proud to say that throughout this post, counting #2 as word, I did use eight different words for feces…

BUT

I am not sure if “doodoo” counts because Word gave it one of those annoying red squiggly lines.  If this was the public school system in the United States they would do away with that red color because of the damage it could do to one’s self-esteem.  I have to say I agree, my feelings are hurt.  Until next time!

Good Love,

Luke